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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven in everyday journalism, and publications remain attentive regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, especially in relation to football. Readers were entertained to find out that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Consider the situation about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he stepped into the wet beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It’s a very difficult job.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the dugout where Keegan once perched. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We stood there in a lengthy line, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|